I’m in a play at the local community theatre, in a role that requires me to get slapped in the face by my wife. In stage combat (I learned), if you’re getting slapped in the face, what’s actually happening is the person who’s slapping you is miming a slap in the region of your face, and you’re secretly clapping your hands and then bringing one hand to your face. Anyway, the way I do it, it feels like I’m slapping myself.
The other night we had to repeat the slap again and again, to make sure it looked legit. And as we were doing it, I was thinking: “Tonight I learned to slap myself repeatedly.” Which I was so pleased with, because it sounds like a song by Morrissey.