Four-year-old son, to his mother, after a moment of grave consideration: “I think I’m going to have a dinosaur phase.”

Eight-year-old daughter, pretending to be a character in a game: “All right, everyone, let’s divide and conquer–whatever that means!”

Daughter, to son, mildly offended: “Hey! You licked me!” Son: “I was licking you with my unicorn tongue.”

Son, to parents, first thing in the morning: “I don’t want to be what I am. I want to be a girl.”